Many of my wonderful single male friends are not happy with their social lives. Dating was much easier in their twenties and thirties because desirable women were plentiful at the parties and nightclubs they attended.
Now they feel too old for past locales and activities. In the charity world they no longer qualify for the inexpensive “young benefactor” rate, and dinner party invitations with other singles have dwindled.
Most of their friends are married and few people can recommend single women in their age group. I have been out of the singles scene for years, but I do know many beautiful, intelligent, talented and available women. I have not met them at nightclubs, vacation spots or on the internet.
I not only know them, but I am responsible for arranging a number of marriages and many meaningful relationships. In fact, I did it again last week. It is now official and yet another couple I introduced is engaged. I have no desire to be a professional matchmaker, I have never been paid, nor would I deserve it. My only role was telling a lucky guy, “There is someone I would like you to meet.” The secret has nothing to do with me, I just introduced highly desirable people and fortunately my intuition was correct.
For middle-aged men who are searching for spectacular women, I would strongly urge them to be involved in the charity of their choice. My knowledge is confined to Washington, D.C. and New York City, where it is difficult to make a wrong decision. Attending a charity function is fun, but if you really want to develop significant friendships, I would urge you to serve on any of the committees related to a major event. The finance committees of so many non-profits are filled with incredible middle-aged single women, and this is especially true if the charity is planning a formal fundraising event.
Planning a black tie fundraiser is time consuming and does require a lot work. You will be assisting a worthy cause but I can guarantee it will bolster your social life. The committees often meet once or twice a week, and women greatly outnumber men. Hopefully I will not get in trouble for saying this, but on one ballet related event, I was the only heterosexual male on the committee!
The First Meeting
Prior to the first meeting, the finance chairman will circulate resumes and contact information to all committee members. You will quickly notice these are A list women. They are intimidating, and you will think, “How did I get on this committee?”
I have never volunteered to be chairman of anything because it is similar to having a second job. If one of your motivations is to meet single women, I think it is better to be a worker bee rather than the head honcho. However, the chairman does have a good excuse for calling everyone.
I add all committee members to my Facebook friends list and have never been turned down. My introductory note is:
I just received John Smith’s letter and was pleased to note we are both serving on the finance committee for the event on March 10th. Last year’s gala was a big success and I sure hope we can reach our goal this time. This is a fun group and I am glad you are participating. I am looking forward to meeting you next Tuesday at the Jones Day law firm.
You will notice a high percentage of women in your age group are single. After several gatherings and phone calls, it is impossible not to develop new friendships. If you are helping the same charity it demonstrates you have a similar interests.
Joining a Subcommittee
When I was socially available, I joined subcommittees which were popular with these women. If you are single, you will want to pick activities which require a lot of contact with your fellow committee members. I often participated in subcommittees focusing on corporate sponsorships and public relations. Do not get stuck on the food/beverages or decorations committees where they ask you to paint by yourself in an empty auditorium.
The more you learn about these women, the more impressive they are. You will already know their occupation and education from the biographical summary, but frequent contact reveals their engaging personalities. You will look forward to these lively gatherings and you will not want them to end.
If these charity women are so great, why don’t they have boyfriends?
Many committee members are married, and others do have boyfriends. Nevertheless, you will be surprised by the number of fantastic women who are not attached. This quickly becomes apparent in talking about the event, because they do not have have dates. This was often my clue to mention the availability of one of my buddies.
The major reason they do not have boyfriends is because DC and NYC are filled with workaholic professional women who have demanding jobs or difficult clients. They spend so much time in the office they really do not have time for a social life. They often participate in charitable activities when they are ready to change their priorities.
Some women told me a secondary reason for helping the charity was to develop friendships unrelated to their employer. If a woman does not have time to participate in committee functions, it is an excellent sign she will not have time for you.
Is It Expensive?
Yes and no. This is a difficult time for all charities and many have reduced ticket prices. Nevertheless, major black tie events still cost between $500 and $1000. This may sound expensive but if you look at what you are receiving it is not.
Some of your contribution will be tax deductible (the fair market value of the food and/or entertainment is not). If you serve on the host or finance committees you are expected to purchase your own tickets, but this often means you are invited to 25 events (committee meetings) for the price of one ticket.
Does my approach work?
Practically all of my past meaningful relationships were because of the charity circuit. I married a fellow committee member and she was a perfect ten. We are divorced now and she is re-married, but actually, she still is a perfect ten.
Also, do not solely rely on my advice. Talk to other men who have served on these committees. They will have had similar experiences. Even if a romance does not develop, you will acquire new female friends who be invaluable allies in your networking.